I am currently undertaking my Masters degree and as I sit in my class full of professionals and senior management and try and take in new knowledge and enjoy the company, I can’t, because there is someone in the class who is painfully negative, slams books and huffs and puffs all the way through the sessions. I daydream of telling her that she is interrupting the class so much with her bad attitude however I wondered if this would actually make a difference or just make the whole class fill up with tension and awkwardness?
I realised that I needed a little guidance, and who else to discuss managing state with than the guru of human interaction and negotiation, Allan Parker from Peak Performance. I spoke with Allan about this situation and he gave me the six questions you should ask yourself before entering into any conflict, discussion or any interaction at all.
The six questions to ask yourself before entering into a conversation/situation are:
- Do I have the right?
- Is it my responsibility?
- Do I have permission?
- Is it in my best interest?
- Is it in their best interest?
- Is it in our best interest?
From this discussion I quickly realised that the answer was no to all these questions, it allowed me to put the whole situation in perspective and just focus on the class and my learning – things I did have the right and responsibility to control.
Allan taught me to only take on what you own; it’s so easy to want to make everything right, fix people, fix situations but you sometimes have to step back and say “this isn’t mine to fix.”
So ask yourself these six Allan Parker questions next time you want to step into the ring.
Ding. Ding.