By Dr Thea Pabustan, Founder of Dental Couture
My parents borrowed approximately $250,000 and emptied their savings so I could study dentistry. For a long time, I thought the best way I could honour that sacrifice was by getting everything right.
Every appointment. Every treatment plan. Every decision.
I became a perfectionist, and for years I thought that was one of my greatest strengths. Then I became a business owner and discovered that perfectionism and leadership don't always make very good partners.
Sixteen years ago, my parents moved our family from the Philippines to Australia. My father left behind his architecture and construction business and my parents started again from zero. When I was accepted into dentistry, they backed me again, borrowing from relatives and investing everything they could in my education.
When people have sacrificed that much for you, failure doesn't feel like something you're entitled to.
That mindset made me incredibly driven, but it also meant I placed enormous pressure on myself. Early in my career, I would replay conversations with patients after work, analysing what I'd said and wondering whether some tiny detail could have been better.
I thought that was what excellence looked like.
Becoming a business owner forced me to reconsider it.
You can't lead a business by controlling everything
As a clinician, much of your performance sits within your own hands. You can prepare more, study more and focus harder on the details.
Leadership is different.
When I became a business owner and founder of Dental Couture, suddenly success wasn't only about my own performance. There was a team to consider, a culture to create, decisions to make and an entire patient experience that extended well beyond anything I could personally control.
For a perfectionist, that can be confronting.
I had to learn that leadership isn't about ensuring everybody does everything exactly the way I would do it. It's about communicating what you're trying to create, listening to the people around you and giving them room to contribute.
If you demand perfection from yourself, it's also very easy to unconsciously create an environment where everyone around you feels they need to be perfect.
That's not the culture I wanted to build.
People need room to learn, ask questions, contribute ideas and grow. And as a leader, you have to be willing to listen.
Excellence and perfection are not the same thing
One of the biggest lessons I've learnt is that lowering your need for perfection does not mean lowering your standards.
There's an important difference.
Excellence allows room for learning. Perfection doesn't. Excellence encourages growth. Perfection can create fear. Excellence is sustainable. Perfection is exhausting.
My husband has been particularly good at reminding me of this. He is much calmer than I am and has an ability to step back and see the bigger picture when I'm buried in the details.
Over time, I've realised that the bigger picture matters enormously in business.
In dentistry, patients don't necessarily remember every technical detail that a clinician might obsess over. They remember whether somebody listened to them, whether they felt understood and how they were treated.
That has influenced the way I think about Dental Couture. The patient experience doesn't begin and end in the dental chair. It exists in every interaction with the business, and no single person can create that experience alone.
The same principle applies to the team. Culture isn't something a founder can simply write down and expect everybody else to follow. It's created through the way we communicate, listen and work together every day.
My definition of success has changed
I've now repaid every dollar my parents borrowed for my education. That was incredibly important to me.
But I've also realised that the biggest thing they gave me was never the money.
It was belief.
They backed me before there was any evidence their investment would pay off. They left behind one life and started another because they believed their children could build something from the opportunity.
For years, I interpreted honouring that belief as needing to be perfect.
Today, I see it differently.
The Japanese concept of ikigai—the intersection between what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs and what you can be paid for—has influenced the way I think about purpose. Building a business has added another dimension to that for me: success is also about the environment you create and the people you bring with you.
I used to finish a day wondering what I could have done better.
Now I try to ask a different question: did I genuinely make someone's life better today?
My journey from my family's migration and sacrifice through to becoming a dentist and business owner has recently been documented in All on the Line, part of the Australian documentary series Dental Masters TV. Seeing that journey reflected back at me made me realise just how much my definition of success has changed.
My parents taught me to work hard and never take an opportunity for granted.
Business ownership has taught me something equally valuable: you don't need to be perfect to lead well.
Sometimes, becoming a better leader means having the confidence to stop controlling every detail and start trusting the people around you.